Dear Diary,

I cannot believe my human is accusing me of dragging a bird into the house. As if I would ever do such a thing! It was clearly the work of that pesky neighborhood cat, Fluffy. I saw her lurking around the yard earlier and I bet she snuck in and left the bird as a present for me. But of course, my human always blames me for everything. It’s not my fault I have a reputation as a killer cat. I just have a strong hunting instinct, that’s all. But I swear on my nine lives, I did not bring that bird into the house. It was Fluffy, I tell you!